JAPANESE SUPER HAPPY RAINBOW TOILET

Japanese culture is consumed by details. From the intricate Japanese tea ceremony to the meticulous art of bowing, it seems that the Japanese revel in minutiae. Bozai, martial arts, flower arranging, even sushi preparation are all done to painstaking perfection down to the last detail. Respect for your surroundings is a key element of Japanese culture, as is respect for those you come into contact with. The Japanese have no less than 35 separate and distinct honorific ways of addressing someone in their language, depending on their age, social status, profession, and relationship. It is almost impossible to have a conversation in Japanese without knowing whom you are speaking to, what their profession is, and their age. (This is actually the explanation behind the sometimes wearisome exchange of business cards that occurs upon meeting someone in Japan. It is considered extraordinarily rude not to completely read the card before placing it in your wallet). Ultimate attention to detail has come to define the Japanese, and it is sure that nothing is overlooked… not even the toilet.

A Japanese toilet is truly the epitome of technology bettering lives. Imagine the toilet of your dreams, and then add in a few features you've never even imagined. Consider then that the average person spends ONE YEAR of their lives 'indisposed', and then wonder why your toilet doesn't have a heated toilet seat… and that's just the beginning.

A STANDARD Japanese toilet has a heated seat, "front" and "back" washes which can be adjusted to different pressures, several different flushing pressures (based on what you need while increasing water efficiency), a sink on top which runs clean water to wash your hands which is then filtered into the toilet for use in flushing (also to conserve water), and an emergency button that sounds an alarm and brings attendants if necessary.

There is also another button which just makes a flushing sound. Apparently, the Japanese, in the interest of modesty, were repeatedly flushing the toilet in order to disguise 'indelicate' sounds. This has become somewhat outdated as of late, however, and is being replaced with the more popular (and entertaining) musical toilet dispenser.

As if this weren't enough, the Japanese toilet manufacturer TOTO recently announced their innovation to the commode; in addition to the usual amenities, their new toilet will feature an SD slot and MP3 player. When the urge strikes, simply slip a memory card into the slot and you can party as you pee. 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' comes to mind as a popular choice.

The TOTO toilet also has an automatic lower/lifting mechanism that actually detects (somehow!!) whether you prefer the seat up or down as you're approaching. There is also a nightlight to prevent those late night aiming faux pas. In addition, in case you or a guest are caught without your memory card at a critical moment, TOTO has programmed certain musical selections into the toilet to help protect your privacy. FYI, the toilets retail in Tokyo now from ¥55,333 ($467) to ¥87,333 ($737), depending on model.

If you are a Westerner whose bathrooms sounds shock and astound you, there is a cheap contraption called Toilet Tunes that could bring you up to par with the poshest Japanese loos. Toilet Tunes is installed easily under the lid of your standard unadorned Western toilet seat. A separate musical device can be placed anywhere in the bathroom. A sensor is activated when the lid is lifted, and plays any of six musical selections including rain, waves, jazz, latin, modern and (appropriately) stream. It runs on AAA batteries, and will set you back the modest price of $29.98. It's available at select Bed, Bath, and Beyond stores, or online at www.gettoilettunes.com.

Thus proving, if we all had heated toilet seats, we'd be more productive workers.