France

Ahh, Paris... the Palace of Versailles, the Louvre, the Champs Elyssee... every year, tourists spend BILLIONS to be emmersed in French culture. Bands of smiling tourists arrive in this magnificent city hoping for a dose of refined culture and a few precious moments drinking in the ethereal magificence of the Mona Lisa. Yes, every tourist arrives in Paris, beret on head and crossaint in hand expecting to be greeted as if they were arriving at a long awaited tryst in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower. It's rather disillusioning once we step off the plane to realize that we are source of constant annoyance to the good people of Paris. This isn't merely an opinion based on ill treatment I've experienced, several years ago, there was an actual decree from Jacque Chirac essentially ordering the Parisian population to be nicer to tourists and asking them to smile more. Within a short amount of time, it becomes apparant that tourists are tolerated, but not welcome. And nowhere is this fact more apparant at the Arche De Triumphe. A stunning testament to freedom, and a monumental piece of architecture, the Arche De Triumphe sits at the end of the famous Avenue de Champs Elysse ringed by what is possibly the most hazardous six lane roundabout in existence.

Parisian traffic is some of the most perilous in the world. It is commonplace for cars to tap bumpers and send parked cars bouncing off one another in order to fit into the rare free parking spot. Motorcycles whiz down sidewalks like rampaging bumblebees zooming in and out of stalled traffic and up and over curbs. At any time, day or night, there are 20,000 more cars than parking spots in the city of Paris. And when those 20,000 cars cannot find a place to park, apparantly they just drive in circles around the Arche De Triumphe at breakneck speeds!

At the end of the Champs Elysse, there is always a huge crowd of tourists standing somewhat belwildered trying to figure out exactly how to cross to the Arche De Triumphe. It's France's version of natural selection, weeding out those who cannot figure out the secret. It's more than obvious that trying to cross the road with the traffic would be impossible. After a few moments in contemplation, most decide that there must be a way, and then they begin to look around and eventually discover that there is in fact an unobvious underground passage leading UNDER the roundabout and coming up in the center of the Arche. I'll admit here that I did cheat, and the first time asked a gendarme how to get across.

A family friend from the US was not so patient. Suffering from what can only be severe ADD or momentary insanity, after a quick look around he darted into the traffic and proving his right to occupy space on the planet, he made it across! I am pretty sure that this is actually illegal, and I'm also pretty sure there are enough signs around that this would NOT be an entirely normal thing to do.

Thus proving, France is trying to thin the herd! BEWARE!